Why adults have extramarital affairs?
Talk about a loaded topic that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on ever since millennium. Extramarital relationships can be filled with problems, cause heartache, and other harms. Plus you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty issue, funds, age difference, faith education, remorse, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I shall classify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, lonely wife looks for dating.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seek an extramarital affair. I am sure generally though it is just the human condition, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Naturally we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us get away the real world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody can switch the craving on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos society has erected against married dating. For many people the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but the public as well. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is very good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not injure your family or anyone else? You will need to reduce the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest cluster, colossal truly. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they are happy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the children to think about. Your finances are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair at times solves the problem while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Avoidance, sadly this is a common cause I fear. One or the other, usually the male is sexually neglecting his lady for a large humber of reasons. As a man I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “lonely wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be compassion is gone, could be it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Maybe we have just developed distantly, our common concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for economic gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.